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Denna gång börjar jag faktiskt skriva utan att ha ett mål och egentligen inget att skriva. Jag skriver den här gången för att jag behöver skriva, för att jag behöver få ner tankar på pränt, för att jag ska få ut något ur mig. Har precis klivit ur badtunnan, 1.5-2 timmar där brukar innebära tid att tänka, att fundera och dra slutsatser om världens mysterier.

Jag vill mycket i mitt liv, alldeles för mycket, så mycket så att det känns som att en enda livstid inte kommer att räcka. Samtidigt vill jag ingenting, vilket är en väldigt underlig känsla.

Så, här kommer en liten bucket-list, med saker jag vill göra innan jag dör. Detta är mina, rakt ur huvudet, saker jag vill göra innan jag dör. Jag vet inte just nu hur många, för jag har som sagt ingen aning annat än att jag ska ”dumpa” det som finns i huvudet just nu. I ingen särskild ordning, utan mest det jag tänkt på i badtunnan först och sedan vad som dyker upp under tiden efteråt.

1. Jag vill bestiga Kebnekaise, detta har varit ett mål i flera år, och jag och en bekant gjorde en pakt för flera år sen om att göra det året vi båda fyller 40. Jag tror dock inte detta blir av, så jag letar semi-aktivt efter sällskap på en sådan tur.

2. Jag vill till USA, jag vill se nationalparkerna, jag vill uppleva delar av Appalachian Trail, jag vill till New Orleans och käka mat och jag vill uppleva Kaifornien.

3. Jag vill skapa musik. Jag har knappt något taktsinne, någon känsla för ton eller rytmik, men ibland när jag hör en låt så känner jag ”Oh, jag skulle vilja ha en cover av den här som lät ’såhär'”, där ’såhär’ då ska ersättas med en idé jag har. För att göra detta måste jag dock lära mig göra musik först, vilket jag inte vill.

4. Jag vill bli grymt duktig på något, valfritt, utöver datornätverk. Vad och hur vet jag inte än, men jag vill vidga mina vyer lite.

5. Jag vill gå på en Daft Punk-konsert, vilket kan vara svårt då de bara gjort två turnéer tidigare. Alive 1997 och Alive 2007..

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. Får väl hoppas på en Alive 2027 eller så nu då…

6. Jag vill ta med mig Måns och Ellen när dom blir större och vandra, jag vill gå kungsleden, sova över på något lämpligt ställe och dela med mig av en av mina större passioner för dom. För det är vad mina långpromenader har blivit.

7. Jag vill till Norge, gå några fantastiska leder där. Jag vill vandra igenom fjordar, stup och branta backar. Jag vill se milsvida sträckor från bergstoppar och jag vill bli skinnad på hundratals kronor för att köpa en pizza när jag kommit fram till målet.

8. Jag vill hitta ett jobb jag är passionerad över, som jag ser fram emot att gå till, som jag med ett leende pratar om med vänner och bekanta. Som jag är stolt att ha och att företaget jag jobbar på gör mig stolt att säga att jag jobbar hos dom.

9. Jag vill se Måns och Ellen växa upp, se deras framtida partners och eventuella barn. Detta är väl förvisso en uppenbar sak, men något jag faktiskt skulle vilja göra.

10. Jag vill hitta en kompis som har lika underlig definition som mig om vad en ”promenad” är. Som kan tänka sig gå 4 mil på en dag, bara för skoj, utan mål eller egentlig mening. Detta är svårare än det tror om det gäller att personkemin ska matcha också.

11. Jag vill skriva en bok. Detta är något jag haft en vilja att göra sedan tonåren. Skriva något, helst en Scifi-bok eller en bok om något helt annat. Jag har i lönndom försökt flera gånger men aldrig kommit mer än några sidor.

12. Jag vill åka till Azorerna, Island och Kanada. Vilket är ironiskt, 3 av 12 punkter är att jag vill åka någonstans, jag som i 20-årsåldern sa att ”resor var onödiga”. Egentligen var det ett annat sätt att säga ”jag har inte råd”.

13. Jag vill hoppa fallskärm. Att falla ner hundratals meter, glida i en fallskärm och landa någonstans verkar roligt.

14. Jag vill hoppa bungee jump, se #13

15. Jag vill åka varmluftsballong, glida över åkrar, ängar, skog och mark och bara titta ut över världen i tystnad.

16. Jag vill uppleva soluppgången sittandes på ett berg och se hur landskapet belyses av solen som sakta stiger över horisonten.

17. Jag vill göra #16 fast med en solnedgång.

18. Jag vill åka ut i rymden, detta är inte en realistisk punkt, men det går inte hindra mig från att fantisera eller hur.

19. Samma tema som #18, jag vill resa i tiden, uppleva 1800-talet och medeltiden, spendera tid i framtiden för att se vilka häftiga saker som finns och såklart, se vad som händer med mina barnbarn när jag själv är borta från jorden.

20. Jag vill sluta bekymra mig över framtiden och lära mig leva i nuet.

21. Jag vill springa ett maraton, jag vill ha bra kondition, motionera mer och äta rätt.

22. Jag vill dö lycklig, vetandes att jag haft ett bra liv, utan större sorger eller stora misstag.